April 2010

So March was my "Fine, let's take a look at this whole dating thing again." decision.

If I don't sound happy about it, it is because I am not good at pretense.  I am only dating to spend time with folks, I am not looking, desperately, for my soul mate because I have concluded that what I need to do is find people who do not despise the things I do before anything else.  This sounds simple, right?  Wrong.

I am not certain what checklists women are using when they are looking for dates but my supposition is that it resembles the following:

1. Looks like Brad Pit
2. Built like a Greek god
3. Loves children
4. Hates all women but me
5. Richer than Gates
6. Sensitive
7. Loves to do housework
8. Is a man's man
9. Thinks I'm sexy
10. Does not objectify women
11. Consider any two basically contradictory positions, add them infinitum

And the problem with this list is simple, it's insane.

That's right, I am saying women's expectations of men are insane and this is most obvious on dating sites.

And what a segue for a comparison for a man who is looking to date, not immediately find a person to marry, and how these sites stack up.  I'm only covering standard sites and only sites I can review without spending any cash.  It's not that I am cheap; it's that I am cheap and cantankerous.

I'll be critiquing the sites using 5 major criteria:

1. Profile creation, scored 1-10, higher score indicated ease of creation
2. Search parameters, scored 1-10, higher score indicates available fine-tuning for searches
3. Match effectiveness, scored 1-10, higher score indicates matches that fit your stated preferences
4. Site intrusiveness, scored 1-10, higher score indicates fewer stumbling blocks to navigation, advertisements, etc 
5. Value (1-10); scored 1-10, higher score indicates better value

Profile creation will judge how easy it is to create and maintain a profile including required and maximum length of fields

Search parameters will gauge how easy it is to search on a variety of parameters with the focus on searching the parameters you have entered in your profile

Match effectiveness will review how often the site gives you matches, how original these matches are, and how closely they fit the type of person you wish to date

Site intrusiveness will note the amount of third party ads, pop-up, ability to navigate without being blocked, etc

Value is a judgment of what is offered for what is asked.

To be clear, I've not found any dating site I like.  All of them fail on at least one level and many of them on many levels.  You may disagree.

Our first candidate for review is Http://www.PlentyOfFish.com

PlentyOfFish.com

Unique Attributes:  Free, even to communicate

Profile Creation: 8
Search: 5
Match: 5
Intrusiveness: 5
Value: 10

The profile creation for PlentyOfFish.com is open and extensive and that is good.  You can go on and on and on and on and some people do.  This is neither good nor bad, but it is a consideration should you be a wordy person like me.  There are significant data points to include height and body type and income and education and all the rest.  The profile at PlentyOfFish.com is extensive and gives you the feeling that this will extend throughout the rest of the site.

Unfortunately, this is not the case and that is demonstrated in the Search capacity.

With Search there are several types of searches, all supposedly based off of criteria you have previously specified.  My interest is always he Advanced mode where I want to be able to search on every data point in my profile.  I have a preference for brunettes and redheads and am only interested in women who are confident enough to post a photo and getting 30 pages of "matches" from my search which translates into 500+ total matches of which 30 actually match the criteria I want to specify, well, not a good use of my time.  That I am not able to sort by distance or match percentage is another issue and presents a weakness to the system.  And this weakness in searching translates directly into a weakness in the matching.

I get matches via PlentyOfFish.com that are mysterious.  One reason they are mysterious is that I cannot look at a profile and determine the income level of the match.  Why is this important?  After all, don't I make a good living?  Haven't I always been the breadwinner?  Sure, but aside from my children I am done financially supporting adults. I am looking for someone who not only has their own life and interests but can actually pay for them.  If I was looking to fund the life of an adult I'd find some 25 year old bimbo who would trade sex for support. 

That is not my goal so I want to know with whomever I am communicating has the resources to fund their own life.

And then there is intrusiveness.  PlentyOfFish.com is a free site.  You can communicate free, look at profiles, search, get matches, see photographs, etc.  Certainly on the free side there are limitations but you are always able to determine before you pay a dime if you believe there will be value in paying for additional privilege.  But then there are the advertisements.  They are all the bloody over the place and they do not disappear when you decide to actually hand the site cash.  I get the whole idea of advertisements to make money off of free loaders but I will, at times, pay just to be spared from ads.  And if there was a "Pay $5/month for no ads" option I would gladly take it.

Not only are the ads targeted, they are also constructed and placed so that you can mistakenly click on the should you not be paying attention or honestly believe that a large breasted, narrow wasted, model quality looks, 25 year old woman actually is interested in anything more than your wallet.

I get that there are some younger women who are not cold and heartless when it comes to trading access to their body parts for cash and prizes, I get that, but it ain't the norm and I am not interested in wading through the 75,000 bimbos to find that one woman who just might be my kind of insane.

Plus, let's admit it; if you are in your 40's and are dating anyone younger than your own children it is just creepy.

So PlentyOfFish.com does not hound you incessantly and try to force you to pay to review who looked at you or read e-mail or who view pictures or anything but their ads are nearly overwhelming and when it comes to pornography, I prefer mine not to be PG13.

And then we have value for use.  If you are willing to spend the time to wade through 500 profiles, send 100 e-mails, and get 12 responses resulting in 1 meeting, PlentyOfFish.com is great.  And since it is free, well, that is a nice counterbalance to those sites that want $60/month if you want to look at the outdated and inaccurate photos of people who beg for honesty while lying through their teeth.

I'm not bitter, I'm experienced.

Next time we take a look at Geek2Geek.com  God help us all.