Reviewed By: Pugilist
We've all experienced the sensation of time slipping by when we are engaged in activities we enjoy. We've also experienced the opposite as time seems to stand still during laborious tasks. That, perhaps, explains the feeling of eternity I experienced while trying to make my way through the WebSeries Nocturnal from Kiss of Death Productions.
I had found less than flattering reference to this series on a message board and decided to give them a fair hearing. After all, how bad could it really be?
What a silly question to ask.
I'll set aside the writing and the acting and the storyline for a moment to concentrate on the one thing that makes this series unwatchable. The sound quality is horrendous. If you can hear the actors, it's through a haze of ambient sound that is not only distracting but, in most cases, more interesting than the presented story.
Yes, I know, that's harsh. Too damn bad.
When things suck, they suck. Cavemen sucked, My Big Fat Greek Life sucked, "reality" TV sucks, and Nocturnal, well, it's right up there with the rest of the examples.
I can appreciate that people put their heart and soul into this production. I can appreciate it enough to tell them to stop, review their work with a critical eye, and change it for the better. Dear God, I had to stop during one episode because the dialogue and edits were grating on my nerves like President Bush trying to relate the "fool me once" quote.
There is some potential in the series but the potential will never rise above "Look, I wrote a vampire story and I have a camera - we'll make a MOVIE!" level until they make some hard choices. For while the amount I know about the craft of film making can fit on the front of a gum wrapper, I know enough not to accept a bad performance and pretend everything is OK.
I said I'd set aside the writing and such and just address the production issues, well, now's the time to address the rest of the mix. If the acting or story or dialogue were compelling, you could forgive the production issues. Right now, I have to thank the production issues because they distract me from the acting, story, and dialogue. But not the music. The music blares through it all, discordant and jarring because, like the rest of the series, someone has decided it is "good enough." It's not.
And then we have the costumes. They shift from present day to a bad representation of Victorian. And what the hell is up with all the damn smoke? Did someone get a bargain deal on a fog machine? Oh, and when your actors look into the camera when they are not supposed to do so, RESHOOT THE SCENE! As for clip-on ties - always a bad idea, trust me on this.
And then you have the smoking. Now, I don't give a damn about people smoking, but if a character is to smoke, it should not look like it was written into the script as "Stop action - make production of lighting a cigarette, draw, exhale." Dear God, it was embarrassing to watch. Almost as embarrassing as the bad S&M and other dungeon scenes and that damn WWII Luger. Guys, get a better, more believable, gun
If this show is meant to be parody, it fails. If this is supposed to be satire, it fails. If this is supposed to be serious, it totally fails. If this is meant to waste between 7 minutes and 51 seconds and 9 minutes and 48 seconds, it succeeds. It most certainly does not carry the Dark Shadows torch. I know this because I watched Dark Shadows when it was originally broadcast.
Someone with a firm hand needs to review the effort to date and take drastic steps to make it more watchable. Screen it at conventions and get feedback, pretend you are not involved and be critical of every lapse and error, realise that just because you have the means of pumping out a story does not mean the story will support the effort.
So, some potential, many problems. I'll peg the series at a 4.
For those who want to experience this series themselves, you can find it here:
http://nocturnalwebseries.com