I do not enjoy talking on the cell phone and driving.  When I must do so I use a headset 95% of the time.  I never drive in heavy or merging traffic holding a cell phone.

Good for me, right?  Well, no, good for the people around me.  In the span of four (4) days I have had to engage my reflexes and situational awareness to avoid being hit by the class of idiot who believe they are a very good driver as they hold their frigging cell phone in one hand and swerve around crowded traffic.

On Sunday the 15th I had to carefully consider the amount of jail time I was willing to endure as some idiot male child decided to come into my lane while I was still there, ignoring my horn and forcing me to quickly gauge the speed of on-coming traffic, following traffic, and this putz.  I don't often lose my temper, preferring to express anger before I do so but in this case I was microns from the bad decision of getting out of my car at the next light and breaking his window and clocking the fool.  He would not have noticed as he never bothered to look where he was going or remove his phone from his ear.

And then last night, the 18th of February, I was at a light, in the far lane of a two lane left turn area and when the light turned green I stayed in my lane, which, apparently, was a stupid thing to do because moron #2 decided he needed to be in my lane as well.  Another judicious application of horn and brake and avoiding by inches another frigging idiot slamming into my car.  I looked over and this cretin is on his cell phone. It turns out he and I are going to the same Sam's club in Exton.  While I would have welcomed an acknowledgement of his actions I did not expect one so was not disappointed in anything other than my restraint.

People, I understand some of you are so very important that you must be on the phone every waking second and that your car is the only place you can call the bestiality chat lines but I'm going to ask you nicely, just this once, to pay attention because although I gave up road rage many, many years ago, I am seriously considering making an exception for the next person who attempts to drive into me while not paying attention in the car because they are shouting "say my name" to a goat at the other end of the line.

Seriously, do whatever the hell you want with your cell minutes, just stop making me pay attention to you because I cannot promise you will enjoy the consequences.  You can blame the cloven hoof and I will blame PTSD.  Oh, and I'll say you hit me first after I got out of my car to inspect the damage you'd caused after you ran into me while you were chatting to your goat-friends and masturbating rather than driving responsibly.

I am an asshole, after all, count on it.

But, by far, my biggest disappointment in both of these instances was that I was not driving my 2001 POS Sebring.  If that was the case it would have been bumper car-day.  Since this 2001 POS Chrysler product now needs a new engine, I won't be driving it anywhere except off of a cliff.  Of all the bad decisions I have made in life, and trust me, they are legion; not trading this lemon in when I bought my Mazda 5 was the most recent.  I decided I'd keep it for when my youngest, now 17, wanted to get his license.  After all, I'd had nearly everything but the engine and transmission replaced on it so why not keep it as a second car?

Because it is a piece of shit and has always been one and I should have known better than to trust it would keep running in any way, shape, or form outside of a compactor.  The only upside here is the tax break I will get when I donate this to charity.  The sad part is that I've owned four (4) Dodge/Chrysler products.  A Dodge Caravan, Grand Caravan, Town & Country, and the aforementioned steaming pile of shit Sebring.  And although I was happy with each and every min-van, this 2001, the newest product, was so bad I am done with Chrysler until they start putting keys to their cars in my Kashi as prizes. 

How bad could it be?  I paid about $13.5K for the car in 2004.  I've spent nearly $10K in major repairs and general upkeep in the last 5 years.  Yep, this means I would have been better off buying a new car.  Which is what I've started doing.  And yes, I did get a warranty on the vehicle, for two (2) years, everything happened after that time which means for the first two (2) years of ownership, it was OK and just subject to normal things like tires and oil and other consumable.  In the last three (3) years I was averaging $3K+ a year in major repairs, each one hitting once every few months.  This last, coming right after I spent another $1,000 to repair dash lights and miscellaneous items, was the gestalt for me to finally say, "Done."

Mazda, Hyundai, hell, I'll even give Ford another shot as I never had anything major go wrong with my 1984 Escort, but Chrysler joins VW in the "Never Again" column for me.

As a recap, hang up and drive, or else, and go to hell Chrysler.